Benedict Cumberbatch should not and can not be fan cast in everything.
I would like to take this moment to point out that the degree to which Captain America’s personalty so excludes him from being relate-able is so much so that not even the Nazis are bad enough for him to fight.
Now, this is a story all about how
My life got flipped-turned upside down
And I’d like to take a minute
Don’t stray from home
I’ll tell you how I became dictator of a city called Rome.
In the suburbs of Rome I was born and raised
In the Forum was where I spent most of my days
Learnin’ classic Greek and Latin cause I should
And droppin’ Cossutisa for Cornelia just cause I could
When a guy named Sulla who was up to no good
Started killin’ all the people in my neighborhood
He wanted me to divorce my wife but I said “Nah”
So I peaced out to Asia and won the corona civica.
I begged and pleaded in court day after day
But I just couldn’t get Dolabella or Antnoius sent away
My wife gave me a kiss and to Rhodes I got my ticket.
And I put down some pirates on my way to ‘kick it’.
Spartacus, yo this is bad
So I teamed up with Crassus to hand him his ass.
Praetor of Spain and Pontifex Maximus?
Hmmmmm this might be alright.
Pompey and Crassus are mad, so I’ll get back stat.
I think a triumvirate could solve all of that.
I’m off to Gaul
I see when I get there,
I got a ten year fight I’ll be marchin’ everywhere.
Well Crassus got killed, so it’s Pompey and me
And it looks like sided with the aristocracy
I ain’t tryin’ to get killed yet I gotta get gone
I sprang with the quickness over Rubicon.
I whistled for a fight but Pompey’s not near
Then I lost at Dyrrachium as I had feared
But I turned it around after Pharsalus
Then mopping up, so no one could say less.
I pulled up to the city about 7 or 8
And I yelled to my troops ‘Go home, smell ya later’
I looked at my city
I was finally there
To sit on my throne as the dictator of Rome.
— Horseradish: Bitter Truths You Can’t Avoid, by Lemony Snicket
Coming this Fall
Robert Downey Jr., George Clooney, and Joel McHale
Your Mom’s Wet Dream
— A Freudian interpretation of Percy Bysshe Shelly’s Ozymandias.
Normally, this would be the point at which I begin to speculate about what Burial at Sea Part II will hold for us, but seeing as we were all wrong last time, I think I’ll just sit back and enjoy being mind fucked again.
I honestly think that Netflix released the second season of House of Cards when they did, so people would have something else besides the Olympics to watch.
Hi, I’m a central character in a movie and I have all the contacts in my phone clearly labeled with first and last names in all caps, despite the fact that I have known all these people closely for years.